I must admit that I have a fear of being found out. I try everything I can to hide my weaknesses, and many times I am very successful. I can do this as along as I do not have to get close to anyone. I can preserve an appearance of being completely the person that everyone wants me to be. I can smile, acknowledge that I am great, and keep moving forward.
The reality is that I do struggle and wish I had a better skill set in some areas than I do. For me, this is a major source of anxiety, the notion of being discovered. So to combat my feelings, I have learned to wear a mask. It always has a smiley face on it and gives the generic answer that everyone wants to hear from me. The thing is, the longer I wear the mask, the further I run from getting close to people.
I have just begun my fifth year as pastor of Rio Rancho United Methodist Church. Anyone that has been in one place for a while knows that there comes a time when the mask must fall away, and you must reveal you’re real self. That includes the strengths and the weaknesses. It is not an easy thing to do. It takes guts and absolute faith in God’s mercy.
We are all faced with the issue of sharing ourselves with each other. Taking a step in building trust is the only way that relationships can develop into something much greater than we ever could imagine. It is also the diving off point for intimacy. The reliance on faith is the uncomfortable part of being in a place for a long time. We grow together, relying on God’s incredible strength to mold us into the people for which the church can become.
True wholeness must include vulnerability, acknowledging that there are parts of us that need developing. If we can do the work together, we can become stronger. We can live bolder, and we can be richer in wisdom. Praise be to God, who calls us to live not just as surface level neighbors, but to join in the richness of relationship.
In just a few short weeks our family will experience a drastic change. My eldest son will be going off to college and leaving the nest. While he will only be a 45-minute car ride away, it could be thousands of miles for all we care. Our home will change and be different. We will miss his presence. Prayers are the only thing that we can offer him as he begins this part of his journey.
So, with his leaving nearing its time, I am trying to think of any last words that I need to impart to my twenty-year-old son. What can I tell him that he needs to know? Will he be equipped to live in the big bad world? Many of you know what I am talking about because you have had the same doubts, worries, and struggles for your children.
I took him to his favorite restaurant today, the Burrito Express. We were eating the best Tex-Mex food in the state of New Mexico, when I looked at him and said, “You know that if times get tough, you can always call me, and I will come to you, or you come to me. You know that, right?” He replied, “Of course dad. I know you are there.” I stopped the conversation for fear that I would make a fool of myself in the middle of the diner.
It is crucial that we know that there is a place to which we can return, somewhere that we can be our real selves. When I kept repeating myself to my son, I realized the same is true for all of us. We need to know that our Heavenly Father sends us clues throughout the day to remind us that we are loved and fully embraced when we return home. We find our hope in the realization of the divine presence of the Almighty, the faith that God will carry us, and hold us in His arms.
Praise be to God, for all of the gifts lavishly given to us. I pray that my son will always remember that he can come home, especially when the world gets rough and uninviting. This is my prayer for my amazingly talented young man. I wish him blessings of peace and a life that knows abundant joy!
I will not deny that I am a person who has a reputation for being outgoing and very boisterous. I draw strength from being in the presence of others. If you have ever talked to me for two minutes, it is quite evident that I am not a shy person. I enjoy great conversation had over a great meal with a glass of “iced tea.”
While this is true, I must admit that I find my greatest sources of strength from spiritual practices that are quieter and reflective. In many ways, it is like a candle that is present in a room. The flame never makes a sound, but fills the room with light. Its power is not found in a theatrical production, making its presence known. It is discovered in a holy stillness, illuminating the room without making one peep.
While I am grateful that God created me to be an outgoing person, I hope that I may continue to learn the lessons that one can glean from a candle. My testimony does not have to be made known with loud, obnoxious sounds, but simply by being present. My service should speak louder than words. After all, this is the very foundation of the ministry of Jesus. His actions spoke bolder and stronger than anything he said.
My hope is that we may light the candles by being the people of God. Jesus illumines our path. We are not required to tell people about the love of the Holy One. We are meant to show by example. How we treat others is our testimony. We have the light within us so that it may shine for others to see the way to the Father. Praise be to God that we might be the vehicle by which the world will know of the tremendous blessings given freely to us.
There are times that I feel a little beaten up. My struggles may come in the form of unkind words, or actions meant to harm me. There are moments that I want to rise up and defend myself. I want to shout, “How inconsiderate of you to say that to me!” There are other times that I want to say, “Stop what you are doing. It is painful and completely unnecessary.”
The truth is, we all feel a little broken at times. None of us are exempt from the reality that sometimes people are unkind. They wage war against us with words that cut like knives, or actions that shake us to our very core. We leave the scene with emotional cuts and bruises. We may be Christians, but our hearts can still break.
In times of pain and suffering, God honors my sadness, but also wants me to move past my woundedness. We are not meant to live in a constant state of bitterness, but we are to live in the promise of new found life. Christ is where our hope lies. God’s power revealed to us in ways that only holy love can speak.
Today I am grateful for friends that lead me back to the source of my faith. Praise be to God that people are in our lives who share the gift of the Father’s unfailing love. Through the kindness of others, we are transformed to bring the presence of love itself into a world that needs to know that holy grace flows back to us, even in times of trial.
This is written to my amazing son, who is celebrating his 20th birthday today.
One day, you will know that every night I tell you that I love you, that I mean it with my whole heart. There are no other words that I speak with truth in my day that are more heart-felt, than stopping by your room before going to sleep.
One day, you will know that when I hear you sing, there is no other sound that is better in my ears. I am so proud that you are following your passion. Hold it close to your heart, and allow the world to be blessed because of your abilities. With each passing year I see in you greatness. I see with the eyes of a dad, always hoping and praying that you are happy beyond your wildest dreams.
One day, you will know that when I tell you that you changed my life, that I am so grateful for the life lessons that I continue to learn from you. I became the father that I never had when you entered the world. I have learned how to exist in the world in a way that I could never imagine before knowing you. While I have struggled and endured some very dark times, just hearing you call me padre heals me.
One day, you will know that when I say Happy Birthday, I really say it as a prayer to God, thanking the Creator that you are my son!
One day, you will know…
Last night, I was frantically trying to get last minute things done before I begin an almost three-week travel schedule. This had to be done, that had to be paid, deadlines for articles for the church had to be finished. I was scattered and anxious at best. Could I get all my tasks accomplished before heading out the door in the morning? There was no room for error. Bills will not pay themselves!
As I continued to struggle and move about, my ten-year-old son entered the room. He was excited about a little project that he had just finished. He created his own music video using a favorite song along with his Lego characters. He was proud of his accomplishment and wanted to share what he had done with me.
Now, I stressed about what to do. I was on a very tight schedule and could not leave a thing undone. As I struggled with how to say no as I kept on working, I stopped right at that moment. Here was my son, proud of what he was able to achieve. There was only one thing to do. I put down my papers, gave my full attention to my son, and praised him for his marvelous work.
After two minutes, I went right back to work, this time with a new attitude and a sense of purpose in placing my priorities back in order. Sometimes, God reminds me that while my work is important and it is good to focus on the tasks at hand, my family’s needs are always at the top of the list. I forget that little nugget of truth sometimes. Thank God, for reminding me to put first things first.
Praise be to our God, that in the middle of the chaos of our lives, we are reminded that the spirit of graciousness and love should be our guiding light. This is where we draw our strength. This is where we find divine purpose and calling. May we continue to remember our blessings, even in the middle of deadlines and life’s daily pressures.
I am at my first General Conference of the United Methodist Church. I can only say that within 10 minutes of the first general assembly, I was frustrated and very disappointed. I left the room wondering, “What in the world is in store for the future of my church?” Not only can we not get along, but one side is bullying the other side and attempting to stifle any conversation regarding our differences. “God,” I reasoned, “please speak through your people, in spite of your people.”
I am reminded that we all have different versions or sides to a story. Each of us interprets each act of love and hate in our own way. Our language is not the same. To make the assumption that we all speak of God, in the same way, is to grossly misjudge our sense of individuality and personal sacred worth. We should never assume that we have a monopoly on the truth. We are not God, nor are we appointed to serve as judge and jury regarding other people’s perceptions. Our task is to love God and love others.
Perhaps this conference reminds me that I serve an incredible congregation of believers. My prayer is that we will continue to grow in our tiny part of the world, and not allow those who are governed by politics and hatred to spread their doctrines into the doors of our church. May they take their “stuff” elsewhere. As for us, we will hold fast to the truth that we are all loved by our amazing Creator.
The reality is that we are a loving congregation. We rejoice in the miraculous events that happen in the life of our community, and we mourn with one another when unimaginable events knock us to our knees. Though we are different, we are united in our love and passion for God and God’s people. Praise be to the One, who fashions us in His image and creates in us a new heart and a new spirit.
Last week I hit the ground running. My week consisted of running from meeting to meeting, dealing with issues both in the church and beyond, and trying to find some time to write a sermon. I didn’t even mention fighting for family time. When each day ended, I felt overwhelmed and unable to feel like I accomplished the tasks that needed to be achieved.
All of the chaos of the week reminded me of what is most important in the life and work of the pastor. It is maintaining and leading the body of Christ in worship. I felt stressed because everything that pressed upon my time took me far away from what I was called to do. While I know that all that I do contributes to the welfare of the church, there are times that I just want to stop the craziness and refocus my attention on the One who called me into ministry.
We all have the kind of weeks that I described. Our children get sick, we have to manage people who are not so good at managing themselves, or we must press on due to a diagnosis that we didn’t expect to hear. It is difficult, to say the least. Whatever the issue may be, we must set our eyes on Christ, who leads us through the chaos, and continues to create beauty.
Praise be to God, who leads us through the rough times. I remember reading a passage by a writer who once said, “God never promised to stop the storm that a rough sea may bring. He promised to calm the storm in us.” This is where the greatest of work is done. It is performed in the heart.
May we embrace the message of hope that is found in God, and be comforted. We are children of the Most-High God. Let us live like it, and remember whose we are. Through this, we will claim the promise of a peace that passes anything that we can ever hope to understand.
Last week was an adventure in survival. I had a paper due for a class I had taken, my wife had back surgery, I flew out of town and back for a meeting, and preached on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon, I was passed out on the couch. I had nothing left in the gas tank.
Life is like that. There are times that we just coast through, but more often than not schedules are rarely predictable. Such is the life of a pastor. The only thing that we can do is be present in the moment. Anxiety can sometimes take over, and I can easily forget to simply breathe and enjoy where I am at the moment I’m there. Now is what counts.
As I rattled off my busy schedule, I didn’t talk about the blessings that came my way as a result of my crazy time. I celebrated another academic course completed. I gave thanks that my wife had a very successful surgery. I met new friends, and spent a few moments with some great friends. My flights, while adventurous, got me safely to and from my destinations. Sunday morning was filled with celebration and joy. These are the wonders that come with a busy and fulfilled life.
I give thanks to God this day for the gift of servanthood, that I was asked to take part in a consumer panel in the bleeding disorders community. I am grateful that I can connect with a community who longs to hear my story, and the story of my family. I was honored to hear other’s journeys, and the strength and hope that they find on their paths. Their stories are an amazing tapestry of an incredible society of men and women who struggle to make their lives rich and meaningful despite the presence of a bleeding disorder.
I think it is safe to say, that we are a part of many different cultures and societies. It was great to be reminded that I am a part of the hemophilia community. I struggle, just as those around me, to find normal in a world that involves daily infusions, hospital visits, and a medicine closet packed full of medical equipment necessary to give my children a chance at their best lives.
My hope is that through all of the chaos we may remember to find the beauty in the moment. Let us never throw away a single second. Let us give thanks for what we are given. Praise be to God, who never ceases to amaze his children.
I constantly wonder about the journey that I have taken concerning my life. Should I have stayed in the music business a little longer? How far would I have gone if I tried harder? Am I on the right path for me? These are the questions that whirl in my head on a consistent basis.
Of course, the answers are muddled. I mean, do we really know that one road would have brought more joy, or one choice would have brought a deeper sense of being? Who knows? The joys, hopes, and dreams that are present are a result of the choices that we did make, the road that we choose to travel each and every day.
As I search for the answers to the questions that I bring to the table, I am confident that my journey was led and directed by the amazing God of All. I am here in this moment as a result of following the One, who guides me and shows me the path on which I am called to walk and serve. Other dreams are reserved for another life, but not my life. The hopes and joys that are available to me now are a result of the gentle guidance of the Divine, loving me through the difficult way and into the waters of comfort.
And as for the joy meter in my life today, this day as a result of the choices that I did make. I am happy to say that I have a loving wife, who continues to walk this path with me. Two amazing men who call me their father. A congregation that every week, teaches me about the greatness of God, and who holy love transforms us all. All of these blessings are as a result of listening to the presence of the Most-High God, eagerly being transformed into the person that the Holy One created.
Today, I am grateful for my path, and grateful for the many people that surround me, encouraging me to become better, become holier, become more passionate. Praise be to the One, who gives us the victory in Christ, His son. My hope is that we take the journey to which we are called. I hope that we walk boldly, holy, and passionately. I hope that as we journey, we are surrounded by the light of Christ.