Parenting – From a Pastor's Point of View

What is in a Name?

I must admit that I miss writing in my personal blog space. However, I will try to do better in the future. Today, Wednesday, February 22, 2023, marks the beginning of Lent. My goal this year is to read and write reflections on the Gospels. Hopefully, I can maintain a faith practice of sharing thoughts regarding the sacred text.

The central concern of the text lives in the first chapter of the Gospel of Matthew. “Joseph called him Jesus” (Matt. 1:25b CEB). The author clarifies that Joseph publicly acknowledged him as his son by naming the child. Though we know that Joseph was his adopted father, according to ancient Hebrew tradition, the father naming a child affirms the legitimacy of the family connection. Since Joseph’s familial line carries the great King David, Jesus can genuinely claim he is from the House of David.

To be affirmed in the ancient culture, Joseph had to name Jesus to fulfill scripture (see Isaiah 9:6-7). His Davidic ties placed Jesus into the very heart of Jewish culture. As a Hebrew, he could rightfully claim his place as the Messiah. The identity of the Son proved crucial to telling the Gospel narrative.

Who Am I?

Recently, I spent part of an afternoon in a department store. I wanted to take advantage of sales. As I continued to glance, my eyes caught a showcase of a beautiful collection of watches. I thought to myself, “Oh, I would make that watch look good.” Each magnificent work displayed its unique beauty.

There, in the middle of one of the cases, my eyes fell on a beautiful, gold piece of heaven. It’s shape and nuance sparkled and appeared to outshine everything else around it. I stood there in amazement. Each watch a proud display of its creator. Fashioned with beauty in mind.

As I stood there, I suddenly became overwhelmed with guilt. My sons gave me the watch on my arm. How could I even consider anything else? As pretty as the shiny bling is, I could never imagine surrendering my gift for the sake of something bigger and brighter. My big stinky boys gifted me with a present that they chose for me. All the sudden, the shiny watch was not as bright, nor as inviting. My watch that I wear is a continual reminder that what I have is so much greater than what I imagine.

God loves us in the same way. Sure, there are beautiful and shiny things all around us, but God fashioned us into the people that we are, with the gifts that we share. Be grateful, for all that we have, for we never know the real value of our greatest treasures. I wouldn’t trade my watch for anything. So, God would never trade us, because we are His. And that is enough!

A Time to Remember

As I prepare for All Soul’s Sunday, I remember the incredible men and women that left a lasting legacy on my heart. I must admit that the Service of Remembrance is one of the most sacred of the church year. There is a feeling of comfort and holiness as we invite our brothers and sisters in the faith to join voices in giving thanks for the many saints that went before us. We thank them for their teachings, for their presence in our lives. We are better because they lived.

One of the many men who had a profound impact on my life was my grandfather. Edwin Lance Jensen lived a life that many would consider remarkable. He survived the Great Depression, the early loss of his mother, homelessness, a world war, and the loss of a child. I knew him for 18 years. Unfortunately, he died at the young age of 60.

My grandfather was the most significant male role model that I had growing up. I learned patience, perseverance, and endurance. This tough talking, rough around the edges kind of man took the time to teach me the many life lessons that I needed to know. I look back and still consider him one, if not the most intelligent man that I ever met.

One of my fondest memories of him was an event that happened during my senior year of high school. I prepared to leave for school when all of the sudden I heard a thunderous crash right outside my house. A lady hit my parked car. My grandfather ran outside, all 6’4″ and 300 pounds of him to check on the person who was involved in the wreck. Making sure she was safe, he invited her in to have some coffee while we handled the day to day stuff involving my car. I like to think that a mechanic fixed the car, and the lady found peace, all because of my grandfather’s kindness.

Many years after Edwin’s death, I was in an old bookstore sorting through different titles that caught my eye. One of them was about the presence of angels. I looked inside of the book and the question, “How do we know that we are in the company of angels?” peeked my curiosity. I had to continue, the words called to me.

As I read the answer to the question, I found myself weeping, giving thanks for this saucy dirty old man that encouraged me to be the person that I am today. It said, “An angel is a person who leaves our world better because they were in it.” Through my tears, I started to laugh thinking about this broken not too old of a man, appearing as one of the many angels who journey through my life.

Through this week, let us stop and give thanks for our angels (sometimes disguised in the strangest packages that we could ever know). We are bolder and better because of their legacy. When you think of the special people in your life, remember to stop and give thanks and praise for the people that speak the words that you need to hear at the moment that you need to hear them. Today we say, “Praise be to God for our angels.”

He Remembers!

Last week was a little too crazy in my life, and so I did not post. My oldest son moved into his dorm last Tuesday. I am excited for him and look forward to all that he will accomplish while being a student at the Santa Fe School of Art and Design. His first week has been filled with anxiety and then joy, as he discovers his capacity to make it on his own.

As my wife and I were helping him unpack, Julian shook a box full of coins in my face. I asked, “What is that?” He responded, “Dad, it is the box that Granny gave me.” That was all that I needed to hear, as I kept my composure long enough to get out of the room. My son kept a beat up old dilapidated box that my mom gave to him for no reason, filled with pennies. On the inside of the box was my mother’s handwriting with these words, “Julian, every time I thought of you today, I put a penny in the box.”

Of all of the things that he took with him to his dorm, one of them had to be this box. It serves as a reminder to him that he was loved before he ever knew his name. People, angels, and other heavenly beings encircle him to remind of this truth, that he is a child of the Most-High God. Loved beyond anything he can ever imagine. All of these important reminders found in a cardboard box.

Julian’s gift reminds me to find an answer to the question, “What am I leaving so that the world may know the incredible love that the Father has for us?” The answers are not taken lightly. They build others up, giving purpose to those who need to hear words of comfort and hope. Store your pennies well!

Remember To Come Home

In just a few short weeks our family will experience a drastic change. My eldest son will be going off to college and leaving the nest. While he will only be a 45-minute car ride away, it could be thousands of miles for all we care. Our home will change and be different. We will miss his presence. Prayers are the only thing that we can offer him as he begins this part of his journey.

So, with his leaving nearing its time, I am trying to think of any last words that I need to impart to my twenty-year-old son. What can I tell him that he needs to know? Will he be equipped to live in the big bad world? Many of you know what I am talking about because you have had the same doubts, worries, and struggles for your children.

I took him to his favorite restaurant today, the Burrito Express. We were eating the best Tex-Mex food in the state of New Mexico, when I looked at him and said, “You know that if times get tough, you can always call me, and I will come to you, or you come to me. You know that, right?” He replied, “Of course dad. I know you are there.” I stopped the conversation for fear that I would make a fool of myself in the middle of the diner.

It is crucial that we know that there is a place to which we can return, somewhere that we can be our real selves. When I kept repeating myself to my son, I realized the same is true for all of us. We need to know that our Heavenly Father sends us clues throughout the day to remind us that we are loved and fully embraced when we return home. We find our hope in the realization of the divine presence of the Almighty, the faith that God will carry us, and hold us in His arms.

Praise be to God, for all of the gifts lavishly given to us. I pray that my son will always remember that he can come home, especially when the world gets rough and uninviting. This is my prayer for my amazingly talented young man. I wish him blessings of peace and a life that knows abundant joy!

One Day You Will Know

This is written to my amazing son, who is celebrating his 20th birthday today.

One day, you will know that every night I tell you that I love you, that I mean it with my whole heart. There are no other words that I speak with truth in my day that are more heart-felt, than stopping by your room before going to sleep.

One day, you will know that when I hear you sing, there is no other sound that is better in my ears. I am so proud that you are following your passion. Hold it close to your heart, and allow the world to be blessed because of your abilities. With each passing year I see in you greatness. I see with the eyes of a dad, always hoping and praying that you are happy beyond your wildest dreams.

One day, you will know that when I tell you that you changed my life, that I am so grateful for the life lessons that I continue to learn from you. I became the father that I never had when you entered the world. I have learned how to exist in the world in a way that I could never imagine before knowing you. While I have struggled and endured some very dark times, just hearing you call me padre heals me.

One day, you will know that when I say Happy Birthday, I really say it as a prayer to God, thanking the Creator that you are my son!

One day, you will know…

First Things First

Last night, I was frantically trying to get last minute things done before I begin an almost three-week travel schedule. This had to be done, that had to be paid, deadlines for articles for the church had to be finished. I was scattered and anxious at best. Could I get all my tasks accomplished before heading out the door in the morning? There was no room for error. Bills will not pay themselves!

As I continued to struggle and move about, my ten-year-old son entered the room. He was excited about a little project that he had just finished. He created his own music video using a favorite song along with his Lego characters. He was proud of his accomplishment and wanted to share what he had done with me.

Now, I stressed about what to do. I was on a very tight schedule and could not leave a thing undone. As I struggled with how to say no as I kept on working, I stopped right at that moment. Here was my son, proud of what he was able to achieve. There was only one thing to do. I put down my papers, gave my full attention to my son, and praised him for his marvelous work.

After two minutes, I went right back to work, this time with a new attitude and a sense of purpose in placing my priorities back in order. Sometimes, God reminds me that while my work is important and it is good to focus on the tasks at hand, my family’s needs are always at the top of the list. I forget that little nugget of truth sometimes. Thank God, for reminding me to put first things first.

Praise be to our God, that in the middle of the chaos of our lives, we are reminded that the spirit of graciousness and love should be our guiding light. This is where we draw our strength. This is where we find divine purpose and calling. May we continue to remember our blessings, even in the middle of deadlines and life’s daily pressures.

Blessings in a Crazy Week

Last week was an adventure in survival. I had a paper due for a class I had taken, my wife had back surgery, I flew out of town and back for a meeting, and preached on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon, I was passed out on the couch. I had nothing left in the gas tank.

Life is like that. There are times that we just coast through, but more often than not schedules are rarely predictable. Such is the life of a pastor. The only thing that we can do is be present in the moment. Anxiety can sometimes take over, and I can easily forget to simply breathe and enjoy where I am at the moment I’m there. Now is what counts.

As I rattled off my busy schedule, I didn’t talk about the blessings that came my way as a result of my crazy time. I celebrated another academic course completed. I gave thanks that my wife had a very successful surgery. I met new friends, and spent a few moments with some great friends. My flights, while adventurous, got me safely to and from my destinations. Sunday morning was filled with celebration and joy. These are the wonders that come with a busy and fulfilled life.

I give thanks to God this day for the gift of servanthood, that I was asked to take part in a consumer panel in the bleeding disorders community. I am grateful that I can connect with a community who longs to hear my story, and the story of my family. I was honored to hear other’s journeys, and the strength and hope that they find on their paths. Their stories are an amazing tapestry of an incredible society of men and women who struggle to make their lives rich and meaningful despite the presence of a bleeding disorder.

I think it is safe to say, that we are a part of many different cultures and societies. It was great to be reminded that I am a part of the hemophilia community. I struggle, just as those around me, to find normal in a world that involves daily infusions, hospital visits, and a medicine closet packed full of medical equipment necessary to give my children a chance at their best lives.

My hope is that through all of the chaos we may remember to find the beauty in the moment. Let us never throw away a single second. Let us give thanks for what we are given. Praise be to God, who never ceases to amaze his children.

The Road that We Did Take

I constantly wonder about the journey that I have taken concerning my life. Should I have stayed in the music business a little longer? How far would I have gone if I tried harder? Am I on the right path for me? These are the questions that whirl in my head on a consistent basis.

Of course, the answers are muddled. I mean, do we really know that one road would have brought more joy, or one choice would have brought a deeper sense of being? Who knows? The joys, hopes, and dreams that are present are a result of the choices that we did make, the road that we choose to travel each and every day.

As I search for the answers to the questions that I bring to the table, I am confident that my journey was led and directed by the amazing God of All. I am here in this moment as a result of following the One, who guides me and shows me the path on which I am called to walk and serve. Other dreams are reserved for another life, but not my life. The hopes and joys that are available to me now are a result of the gentle guidance of the Divine, loving me through the difficult way and into the waters of comfort.

And as for the joy meter in my life today, this day as a result of the choices that I did make. I am happy to say that I have a loving wife, who continues to walk this path with me. Two amazing men who call me their father. A congregation that every week, teaches me about the greatness of God, and who holy love transforms us all. All of these blessings are as a result of listening to the presence of the Most-High God, eagerly being transformed into the person that the Holy One created.

Today, I am grateful for my path, and grateful for the many people that surround me, encouraging me to become better, become holier, become more passionate. Praise be to the One, who gives us the victory in Christ, His son. My hope is that we take the journey to which we are called. I hope that we walk boldly, holy, and passionately. I hope that as we journey, we are surrounded by the light of Christ.

A Week of Thanksgiving

It is hard to believe that this Thursday is Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to some time with family, including great food. This time of year is extremely sacred to me, because it will mark four years since my mother died. This season is not sad for me, but it is one that is set apart as holy and special. I give thanks for not only my mom’s life, but also for the many people who have made my life better because of their incredible legacy.

I remember holidays gone by and am caught up in a sea of emotions. I think of Thanksgiving in the house in which I was raised, and am immediately swept away with visions of my big family laughing and sharing crazy stories. I remember that I was a part of the wonderful custom of maintaining the importance of family and friends. The lessons I learned from past holidays are traditions that I continue to share with my family today. I hug those closest to me and remind them that they are loved more than they could ever imagine.

Today, I am grateful for a life filled with people who love me and continue to care for me. I wish only the most incredible blessings to everyone as we all take time out of our chaotic schedules to remember to give thanks to friends, family, and our Creator. May the joy of this season wash over you and leave you with a hope that you never dreamed possible. May you lay aside your disagreements and share in the fact that we are all God’s children.

And I can’t let a Thanksgiving season go without saying, “I miss you mom, and I know that your spirit is with me every day. I continue to raise my children in the light of the love that you gave me. I know that when I share the feast with the family on Thursday, you will be in the room with all of us, smiling that we all are together sharing a moment of joy. I love you and thank you for the gift of life.”