I Am Staring at the Screen

I have not had one of these kinds of days since I started writing.  My mind is blank.  I feel like I don’t have anything to give.  I don’t know if it is the flurry of activity in my life, recovering from my trip to New York, or just simply not getting enough sleep.  There is nothing here.  I am writing this so that I may meet my requirement for the day and say that I have fulfilled my obligation to my Lenten practice.

Have you ever had the kind of day that I am experiencing?  I am talking about feeling empty and not capable of putting two words together much less a sentence.  As I write this, I am keenly aware of what happens to me when I experience this lack of motivation.  At my least creative moment, God usually steps in and uses me in the middle of my brokenness.  I do the showing up part and God does the changing of hearts part.  We just have to be willing to do our jobs.

We are to show up for ministry; whether we feel like it or not.  This is about being present to be the vessel by which God changes lives through us.  Who are we to say, “God, I really don’t feel like it today, so I’m staying on the couch?”  Who will miss the blessing of God’s presence within us if we don’t show up?  While I may “feel” empty, that doesn’t mean that God cannot move me at the right time and in the right moment to be the body of the Holy One.

Today I sit and write without a message.  I look and have to smile, because as I write about my nothingness, I see God’s something-ness.  It is all about the spirit’s willingness to let the present of God speak and be present in the midst of whatever situation there may or may not be.  Our commitment to our amazing God should be the power that drives us daily; with or without our attitude.

About joekmac

I am a pastor in the United Methodist Tradition. I am the Pastor of Rio Rancho United Methodist Church in the New Mexico Annual Conference. I am married to Cazandra and have two sons with hemophilia.
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