I did something yesterday that I never dreamed I would do. I posted a recording of me singing Bring Him Home from the Broadway musical Les Miserables. By sharing this song, I overcame a long-standing fear of someone laughing or not thinking me good enough. Now, I am not asking for any reassurances or anything to help with self-confidence. Praise be to God, I have a great therapist to help with all of that stuff.
I want to celebrate victory over a struggle that I carried most of my life; a fear of being a phony. At times, I became almost crippled due to anxiety perpetuated by irrational fear. The statement, “I am fooling people, but I not good enough to do what I want,” reverberates in my head. The noises grow so loud that I cannot hear the voice within calm my heart and soul. I give in and resist as much risk as possible.
This time proved different than past challenges. I decided that the words I heard a fellow pastor speak one day would serve as my mantra. My friend said, “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” Don’t get me wrong; I respect and admire feedback, but my entire decision as to whether I risk or should not include the idea of fear. I decided to do away with anxiety and risk putting a part of myself out into the world, remembering the words of the psalmist when he said, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
I hope that we come out of the shadows of “imposter syndrome” and rely on the strength given to us by God. With divine help, panic can take a back seat as we embrace the source of all hope and love. May we continue to grow in a faith that empowers us, not encourages us to sneak back into the darkness of shame. Let the world discover the rich talents you share and be a better place because of your faithfulness.
Youtube link to my recording: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_PnPhiAftY