What Have I Surrendered?

     Today I find myself in the precarious position of wanting to stop and take a moral inventory of myself. The question that drives my curiosity is, “What have I surrendered to move from darkness into the light?” As I spend time with my problem, I cannot help but give thanks because my reality is quite different from past moments. My transformation required profound and often painful realizations about myself and the negative messages from my childhood. I continue to work on issues that keep me connected to the darkness.

     How honest are we with ourselves? Do we turn the moral judgment finger back to ourselves? By punishing our spirits, we deter any possibility of pure freedom. We continue to live in a graveyard whose chain comes into creation with each lock of shame, regret, or negative evaluation about the self. The more the dark forges link by link, we remain captive to our pain.

     The good news of Advent is that we can let go and embrace the light of the Holy One of Israel. Pure love comes to us, just as we are, and redeems us. The Spirit makes us whole. In the light, we discover the truth about who we are and our place in the world. We learn that our journey becomes much more comfortable when the presence of God illuminates our path. It starts with one step, one act of faith that pierces the blackness of our souls. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, and ransom captured me.

Published by joekmac

I am a pastor in the United Methodist Tradition. I am the Pastor of First United Methodist Church of Belen in the New Mexico Annual Conference. I am married to Cazandra and have two sons with hemophilia.

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