When My Worst Enemy Prevails

     I have a fierce enemy that seems never to surrender the fight for my soul. It rages fiercely against me and can throw mean into a chaos born in darkness with one swift blow. I cannot fight this lover of humiliation alone, so I depend on an advocate that makes the enemy’s power dwindled in comparison to itself pristine lighted beauty. Once exposed to the light, the enemy must retreat and wait until another day to launch an all-out assault.

     The enemy of which I speak is me. I am my own worst enemy. I know where to strike and hit with 100% accuracy. My heart lay bare to the one that strikes with such cruelty and heartless integrity. The only way I know to survive is to retreat into any foxhole that I find until the war ceases. There appears no way to fight back as shame overwhelms me and leaves me paralyzed with fear. I lay in the darkness, praying that someone will discover me and bring me from torture.

     Advent reminds me that the light came into the world, and in doing so, released me from myself. My enemy’s voice has no power over me as I rediscover the One who created beauty out of chaos. My challenge is to refuse to let the power of my most prominent critic overwhelm me back into darkness. It is an impressive trick, but each day closer to Christmas, there is a little more hope in the world. We maneuver life by reminding ourselves that we are God’s children, and as such, our most significant power-hungry phantom has a smaller amount of hold on us. Celebrate, give thanks for God, who leads us out of the night and into the hope of morning.

Published by joekmac

I am a pastor in the United Methodist Tradition. I am the Pastor of Hamlin Memorial United Methodist Church in the New Mexico Annual Conference. I am married to Cazandra and have two sons with hemophilia.

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