In our society, when someone hears the phrase “The honeymoon is over,” we automatically think something bad happened, and what was once a pleasant environment becomes hostile and uninviting. To help pastors and leaders see this transition positively, it’s important to recognize the subtle signs that indicate a deeper relational phase has begun, such as increased honesty, shared struggles, or renewed purpose. Understanding these signs can shift perception from loss to growth.

     This past week I used the phrase declaring an end to the honeymoon phase, and received words of encouragement, as if I meant I survived an outburst of anger or resentment. I quickly said, “I did not mean to say the phrase as if something awful happened and now I am left trying to find my way. I meant it as a way of acknowledging that a new part of my relationship moved to a deeper level.”

     As pastors, when the honeymoon is over, the relationship with our church can blossom into a richer expression of ministry. To do this intentionally, pastors can reflect on moments of shared vulnerability, deepen communication, and seek new ways to serve together. Recognizing these opportunities helps us see the end of the honeymoon as a chance for meaningful growth and renewed purpose.

     Yes, sometimes we may overcome difficult parts, but it doesn’t mean that resolution always comes with heartache and pain. Instead, it can be a time of resilience and hope, where both the church and pastor feel the air beneath our wings as we grow together. Embracing these challenges as opportunities for deeper connection can inspire leaders to view the end of the honeymoon as a positive step forward.

     I look forward to living in the space on the other side of the honeymoon period.” It is where we can dream together about the future of the church. Growth comes from ideas that must find a place to fill the air. It all starts with a safe place to land. The other side of the honeymoon leaves space to create in a supportive environment. We move past presenting a front and show ourselves. We enter the most grace-filled part of who we are, and joy makes its presence known.